He knew he had died; the headlights from the oncoming car had caused him to turn the wheel, and send his own vehicle hurtling over the bridge. If he had survived, he would have been in severe pain and most likely be fused with pieces of metal, glass and wire. Yet he wasn’t; he was instead standing fairly comfortably, in a well-lit room.

The room was essentially bare, with no furniture, floor covering or items on the wall. In fact, he wasn’t sure there even was a wall. The room seemed to have no physical barriers that were visible, but he could sense a short distance in each direction. It was as though the air itself had solidified at some point, without having any impact on the openness of the area.

He found he was comfortable, and not at all anxious, curious or scared. If he could put a word to how he felt, it would simply be “fine”. There was no reason why he felt fine, but everything seemed perfectly suitable to him. He realized that during life he might’ve found himself anxious to be in such a strange situation, and would have desperately tried to understand and find the way out of the room. If his attempts at either understanding or escape had failed, then he would’ve most likely become angry or afraid. He knew this because it was himself, and the truths about himself suddenly had become clear. Yet, now those truths didn’t seem to apply, or even matter.

He stood, completely content, alone with his thoughts and musings. As he did, he became aware of another anomaly – there was an absence of time. He couldn’t explain it, not even to himself, but it became true with his growing awareness. It wasn’t that he didn’t mind the passage of time, it was simply that time didn’t exist. And again, he was perfectly fine with that.

A presence was in the room with him, a presence he had not been aware of prior to that thought. The presence was both himself and not himself, a conflicting position that seemed perfectly normal in that room. It was as though his thoughts had manifested into another being. This presence was separate and outside of him, yet also a part of him.

“We all are” said the presence. He looked and saw the shape of a beautiful woman, with gray eyes and silver hair. She was magnificently ancient and impossibly beautiful, yet radiated a sense of peace and tranquility that permeated his whole being. He realized that this was love, and knew that he was radiating it also, for she was he. He was struck by the deep, pure beauty that she possessed, yet he had no desire to hold her, possess her or join with her. For he already was her, and the love he felt could not be greater.

He knew he could stay there forever, the waves of love completing him, its infinite supply washing over him. Yet he somehow knew it wasn’t to be.

“The life examined” she said with a smile. “Your chance to rewrite and add what you want to the story”.

No words or images came into his mind when she spoke these words, instead an understanding went through him, and an awareness of the totality of his existence on earth. He was aware most of all as to how finite it seemed; how brief and tiny all of the major events had been.

“Money?” She said with a smile. He thought of the dollars he had sought to obtain, the dirty bills and harsh coinage that served as funds for living. How ugly it now seemed! It was nothing more than a servant, used to allow one to obtain things in life.

He saw the wealth of the richest men of his time, stacked up in giant piles, and he realized how small those previously great fortunes now seemed. All that wealth could only buy things, and only if the possessors of those things sought were willing to exchange them for money. He saw a young man with mansions around the world, all furnished with mattresses luxurious and firm and sheets of finest silk, and suddenly realized that the man could not find a decent night’s sleep in any of them. The man could not sleep well in any one of them, for the demands of maintaining such wealth was constantly on the man’s mind.

He also saw a person with a single sized bed, who climbed onto a lumpy mattress after a long day of hard labor, next to a woman who was simply content to feel him next to her. That man slept soundly, and the love that flowed next to and around them increased throughout the night.

He looked back again at the treasures stockpiled by the wealthy, and saw an amazing transformation. The money began to change, and impish faces appeared as ghostly figures in the dollars and coins. The figures were not malicious, but had eyes that sparkled with the joy of trouble. The money began to form into manacles, cuffs, chains, giant walls and barriers, and even fortresses and prisons. The impish faces were laughing as the transformations occurred, clearly enjoying themselves.

The items formed looked harsh and oppressive, and quite forbidding. Yet to his amazement he saw those who had the wealth willingly put the chains and manacles on and go inside, and wall themselves into the prisons that had been created. He saw some who didn’t have wealth feel rejected and upset, and watched as those people stood in line to try and find a piece of chain to slip over their wrist, or bind themselves to a manacle attached to the walls. It was a giant multitude, begging to be chained and imprisoned.
The effect of this was staggering. The manacles and chains, fortresses and walls were effective barriers to the free-flowing of love. Yet, those who sought the barriers seemed to do so because they desired to be loved, and believed that binding themselves to wealth would achieve that purpose. No wonder the imps were smiling! He saw this clearly as it played out in front of him, and he also saw the woman by his side was smiling. She didn’t have to ask if he wanted Money; she knew the answer.

“Would you want Fame?” she murmured. He then saw the life of the famous, near famous and not so famous before him, with accolades raining upon them from a giant horde of people. He saw the adoring glances from fans and admirers; men and women with desire in their eyes, longing to be like the famous.

Then one particular young man caught his attention- a young Adonis, with hair of gold, eyes shining bright with a strong glistening body with shoulders held high, his face firmly looking to the future. It was the image of success. Around the young Adonis sparkled lights of various colors, darting in and out of the man, with one light more fixed and bright. He realized that these lights represented the young man’s talents and desires. Most of his talent existed in a yet unformed state, and darted in and around the young man. The lights came from the young man’s desire to use these talents in their many shapes and forms. It was beautiful to see.

The one fixed light represented the talent currently used by the young man, which burned bright with his ambition and desire. It was this talent that the world craved, that fixed his fame among the multitude. It was what separated him from everyone else, and others desired to be part of it.

He saw the man enjoying the fame at first. Then two events occurred as time went on – the multitude became possessive of the young man, and began to demand more and more time and attention from him. Also, his desire to continue with the talent began to wane, as other talents within the young man began to mature. As the young man’s desire shifted, he began trying out the other talents. The mood of the multitude changed, and grew angry, and became ugly towards the young man. Fearful of losing his fame, he went back to his original talent. All was well, as the multitude brightened, but perhaps not as brightly as before. The talent desired by the multitude grew brighter still, while the talents unused dimmed.

He saw this pattern repeated throughout the young man’s life. Each time he tried to pull away from his original talent, the multitude turned on him, demanding that he return to the talent that they loved. Meanwhile, his other talents, at first bright and strong, began to wan. After a time, the light around the talents ignored began to turn into gray, ashen like colors, then dim and go dark.

He continued to look and saw the once young Adonis at middle age, a person old before his time. His body was still tall and strong, the result of plastic surgery and medication, but the fire in his eyes was no longer there. They were dull and listless. Around him lay dark, ugly, misshapen objects, which represented talents lost or ignored. His single original talent, now dark with lack of desire, still maintained its original shape, and there were still those around him who were fascinated by it.

He saw the now aged man reach out for one of the few remaining talents that still held its shape, and still flickered with some brightness. A snarl emitted from the multitude, and his hand withdrew.

He experienced all this, and realized that the once young man was now trapped in a walled cage of his own making. His image was solidified by his fame, and the public would not accept any changes from that image, would not accept him for being who he was. The lure of fame was too much for him, and he sacrificed his life to stay in the limelight.

He saw the same story repeated throughout the world, in all areas – people who became trapped in the image they were when they achieved fame, and then were never able to change back or grow. Every now and then he saw an exception, but that was so rare as to almost be missed.

Then he saw a young girl, also filled with talents, which even though immature and undeveloped glowed brightly in and around her. She was unique in her form, yet as beautiful as the Adonis had been, and filled with life and love. He saw the young girl grow and go to college, become a mother, raise a family, work as a teacher and learn about life. He saw her make use of her many talents as they blossomed, and taste the desire that flowed around each. He saw that her talents were used, not for herself, but to help her interact with those around her. She used them for friends, her family, her students and even for strangers she met. Those talents that she was unable to use, instead of dying, seem to flow into the others, and become part of their talent.

He saw this woman at 70 years of age, seemingly much younger than her age. He saw her happy and smiling, and saw that those around her were also smiling and glowing. Only a few people knew her name, but all who knew her felt that they were happier and had a better life for having known her.

He then felt the presence of the woman near him, and felt again the flow of love to and from her. “No?” She smiled. “How about…”

From there he saw a long parade of what he had thought was desirable in life – Knowledge, Status, Toys, Entertainment, Recognition, Power… none of them seemed important, however, none of them even seemed real.

“You can have it all”, she said. “I give you the gift of everything. Pick as much and all of what you desire and I shall return you to the world and it will be yours”.

At that point the young man knew, and his face radiated a bright light as he smiled. “What I want is nothing”, he said, “because in nothing I have everything”. So enlightened, he closed his eyes, and simply breathed.